while i was away

It has been about a month since the last time I posted. In that time the most significant events have been that I moved into a new apartment, got a job, and went to youth camp. I love my new apartment its way nicer than my last and the job is a job and i'm excited but the big event in my life was youth camp.




My home church has gone to Go Tell for years and years and I have gone all but twice since I was in seventh grade. This year we went back to Taccoa GA.

The first speaker was Shannon O'Dell and he spoke about how we can fit in anywhere and fake almost anything around the appropriate people but when life squeezes us and we are in a bind the real us comes out. He challenged us with the question "what comes out of you when you are squeezed?" He then had an illustration with oranges, one of which he squeezed and juice came out like it should, but the other he squeezed and a green slimey sludge came out. So again, "what comes out of you when you are squeezed?"

Night two was Tony Nolan. He told a story about the "Great Blondinie" who walke across niagra falls on a tight rope. He went there and back. He then walked out and made an omlete in the middle and came back then asked for a wheel barrow and took it across and back. There were hundreds if not thousands in attendance who had began chanting his name and encouraging words like "we believe in you" "you can do it" "your the best" and after a few minutes of the crowds uproar Blondinie asked if they thought he could do it again with a person inside the wheel barrow. Of course they began chanting again and he quieted the crowd again and retold all that he had just accomplished before their eyes going across so many times then he said "since you all believe, who is getting in the wheel barrow?"......dead silence swept across the crowd....Even after what they had seen nobody was willing to put their life on the line when just moments before they knew that he could do it. Thats how we are with God, we know he can do it and we give lip service to the fact that we believe but all God wants is for us to trust and believe and get in the wheel barrow!



Wenesday Night Clayton King was our speaker and told amazing stories of some of his missionary adventures but the big thing for me was a descision that I made that night. If you have followed this blog you know that missions have been on my heart and thats kind of why I started this blog, anyway after he shared these mission stories I was starting to feel God pull at my heart and Clayton got ready for the alter call and called for new believers so I said "good i'm off the chain"...well....afterwards Clayton said that the two things he has seen God do at Go Tell is save sinners and call people to ministry and I was like "oh crap" so I did what any good baptist would do...I held on to the pew! lol I knew God was calling me but I faught it and held on to the pew. When he was done with that alter call I felt like I was home free. Then we began to sing again and one of the songs went something like this "take my life and let it be all for you and for your glory".....really?!....so right there I gave up, I was tired of feeling God breathe down my neck on the Issue so I surrendred to ministry. I admitedly don't like it and i'm now sure what all God wants from me whether it be missions preaching or what but I am open to whatever it is that He asks of me!

In the morning we had a guy by the name of Christian Newsome speaking for those services and he did an outstanding job! I thoroughly enjoyed him but especially his Wednesday morning service which was entitled: Get Strong and Stay Strong Spiritually. I will just leave you with the notes he gave us

Get Strong and Stay Strong Spiritually
1. Consistently read, understand and be impacted by God's word
   a. Plan
   b. Place
   c. personal goal
   d. always use the pen
   e. have a proper bible, a study bible
2. Have to have close Christian friends
   a. change your friends (either whitness to them or change them all together if that doesn't work)
3. Date only strong Christians
4. Develope a Prayer Life
5. Find a Mentor
6. Develope a Spirit of Worship
7. Begin Serving in Ministry
8. Find a Leadership position in a Strong Ministry
9. Be Willing to Sacrifice
10. Resiliency

Its great Stuff!!!!

The last night, on Thursday was Ergun Canner who spoke about family and how we can be let down and how blood should be thicker than water but isn't always because we are all human and sin and let each other down but there is one who will never let us down and who has a much stronger connection with us than just blood, God! He is our father above all others and in whom we need nobody else!



So, on our way back on the buss a few of us felt convicted about how much we have read our bibles, in large part to Chrisitan Newsome and we decided we would start one of those read the bible in a year plans and then someone said they would feel like a failure if he didn't do it by Christmas....so, we got a chronological reading of the bible in a year and started doubling up the days to finish and we have even gotten ahead of that and have read all of job and about half of Genisus in about a week! It is great to have them for accountability and to bounce our thoughts off of each other!

Anyway that is most of what has happened since my last post. Also the worship was amazing, it wa so good that I feel like I actually worshiped God for the first time! Thanks to Exodus for leading us into the throne room of God every service! In short it could be sumarized like this....GOD IS GREAT!!!

who are you?

Well, its been a while since my last post but I have graduated college and have been looking for a job, not to mention I will be moving in a few days. In the midst of all of that these last few weeks, something has stuck out in my mind. Our guest speaker at graduation spoke about something really awesome. He said as we go out into life, many people will notice us. They will see us and what we are doing, what we have accomplished, and see our success and wonder "who is he?" or "who is she?"



And being Christians we know that we have nothing without the assistance of God and that it is all by his grace and its all blessings from him. So, when they see the great things we are doing they shouldn't be asking "who are you?" they should be asking "who is with you?"

So even when we are having great things happen to us, we should use it for our fundamental purpose in life, to spread the gospel.

God loves us and God is with us every minute of every day!

Footprints

One night I had a dream-- I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord and across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints, one belonged to me and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life. This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you would walk with me all the way, but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. "I don't understand why in times when I needed you most, you should leave me." The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. "When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

I was instantly reminded of this poem

Its a Hard life, so what do we do?

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"-Rocky



Life is tough. Its no secrete. Sometimes it is not fair to us and others timeangrys it is not fair to those we love. Either way, we must learn to cope with it because it is part of life and we can't escape it. It is a natural thing to feel angry and bitter and to ask why sucha thing could happen. We try to make logical sense and say "Well I am a good person, why are bad things happening?" "They don't do anything right, yet all the good stuff happens to them." It just doesn't work that way. I believe it is meant for a few reasons. Firstly, to remember that we can't handle it alone. We need God to get through those things. Second, to give God the glory for handling the situation and his wonder and grace being shown in the miraculous act of fixing the problem or situation.



When it happens to other people and we see it, I feel like we must need to help them remember these things. If the person is not a true believer it becomes an excelent way to share the gospel with them. If nothing else, you get to have that conversation with them about having faith and possibly planting the "mustartd seed" so that God can work on their heart since they have been introduced to it at this point.

Its my prayer that we all have strength and wisdom at these times to find the right words and not fall into anger and bitterness so that we can be that light for those in the dark so that they may not perish but have eternal life!

Uncertainty

"Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We imagine that we have to reach some end, but that is not the nature of spiritual life. The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty....Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life; gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth....We are not uncertain of God, but of what He is going to do next. If we are only certain in our beliefs, we get dignified and severe and have the ban of finality about our views; but when we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy"-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for his Highest



Word!!! This was amazing! For me at least. I have never thought that uncertainty would be a good thing. It is hard for me because I am extremely mathematical, calculating, and logical in all that I do; and I have always thought that faith in God was being certain of Him and all the qualities that you learn about Him from sunday school. While I have known the uncertainty of God, it has been from my perspective thinking that God was uncertain because He wouldn't answer me or because I would misread something and think He had changed his mind on me.

It does make lagical sense though that our all knowing God, that can do anything, although we never know what or when, that it would be a sign of spiritual life. To know that you don't know it all and that the only way that you can come close is to admit defeat and just have faith in Jesus!

I am learning alot and I'm trying to be open to new things and just soak up all that I can. I usually know that I have learned something by feeling certain about it, by knowing all that there isto know about it. I may not know alot and but I know what I know and I'm certian of it even when I'm uncertain!

Aggressive listening and Abandonment

Today class we will learn about two new essential ideas. Abandonment and aggressive listening.

Abandonment-to give up control of



In one of my devotions today, Oswald Chambers said that the "true test of abandonment is in refusing to say-'what about this?'" Talk about stepping on toes. I am a Math major for crying out loud! All I do is analize things and look at them logically, granted it is a major fault and hinderance spiritually that I've always had issues with, so I wasn't exactly excited when I read this.

On top of that I like being in control of things because I like them to go perfectly and smoothly and that can't happen unless it goes my way.....(cricket cricket)....Yeah i know thats all bologna but thats how I operate. I know thats neither true nor what I should try to accomplish but thats real talk.



Essentially, this means that God slapped me in the face today and said "Chill out, I got this!!!" And I am trying to be still and know that He is God

Aggressive Listening-actively blocking out distraction so that one my easily and deliberately hear

This was from my second devotion. I alwasy thought of listening as just sitting and hearing what someone had to say and I thought I could do that with God. I can, but there are so man distractions in life and in my life specifically that I must do more. I must turn off the TV, get off the computer, leave the video games alone, and yes, even silence the cell phone and give God some time to talk to me with no distractions so that I may hear it.



Simple enough, right? Yes and no. I find that I know a good deal, but I tend to not really know it until I have discovered it in teh pit of disaster in my life. And for me, I am discovering some of these things for the first time under pressure and it makes it real to me. Applicable. Tangible. Doable. Effective.

I hope this doesn't bore you but there is bound to be someone out there like me that is hard headed and learns the hard way. Even if there isn't, I still like logging my discoveries this way, writing it helps me review and oddly enough I view this as a form of accountability lol :)

planing to obey

If any of you know me, then you know that I like to talk. I can talk to a perfect stranger almost as if I were running for some sort of political office, but I also can be quiet and be a people watcher. I actually enjoy that most, people watching. I like to see how people interact with each other and how they respond in different situations. God can be like that too. He can watch and likes to watch how we handle things or he can speak to us.

I have been doing a study on discerning the voice of God, and today's topic was planning to obey God's word. They put it like this, have you ever asked for someone's opinion on something with your mind already made up?...if you have, what was that person's response when you did what you wanted from the beginning?(assuming that they chose something other than your original choice)...They usually end up made and wondering why you even ask in the first place.



I think it is safe to say we could expect God to react similarly. Now hear me out, i'm no trying to be blasphemous. If we ask God what we should do but we already have the plan in our mind of what we will do, then it is not too outlandish to think that God would not answer since he knows everying and know that we don't want to do what He wants us to do anyway. Make sense?

So, it was really about being planning to take the advice of God, no matter how different it is from what we want, because (lets be honest) He knows best anyway.

Temper Tantrums

 

Have you ever been out to a nice place to eat and seen that large family with small children come in? Some of you may say "how cute" others may say "here we go" but either way you both know there is a good chance that you will end up dealing with something like this....

Not exactly what you would call attractive or what you wanted to do on your only night off this week, right?

Well the thing is, we often do this over such preposterous things!

In the last two days I noticed it in others and in myself. At the drive through last night, the driver in the car in front of me had his hand hanging out of the window waiting on his order and you could tell he was aggitated because it was taking about 2min...maybe...at max. I understand that we live a fast paced life and we all have stuff going on but I just viewed it a little differently last night. Think if you had to go to the store and get the bread and meat and cheeze and condements then go home cook and serve and clean...how long would that take compared to your 2 min wait at the drive through.  Today, I got a little upset because I asked for an extra packet of bbq sauce, which they normally give but said I would have to pay for it today. That 30cent or however much it cost packet actually peaked my anger a little. We all do it, it just may be different.

I challenge you to look and see some of those stupid and insignificant things in your life.....you got it?...how dumb does that look from your perspective now just thinking back to it from a calm state?....now....picture that from God's eyes! Yep, this is tough.

First, I think we are so spoiled and don't realize it! We are so fortunte to live in a plac where we can get things so easily and have the money to get them. Think if you were in a country where you worked all day for 5 dollars, or if you had to walk 8 miles to go to town to pick up your food and you still had to go home and cook it

At this point if you are saying, "so what!? I don't, I live in America!" Then I feel sorry for you, and you can figure out why

Second, keep in mind that God does love us, but what do you think he feels when he has blessed us so much and we are still complaining over every little detail?...just food for thought

These are the things I think, and realizations I have, I hope they promote some deep thinking into your own lives



I somehow think these kids wouldn't complain....

STUFF STUFF STUFF

Today I was pondering all the STUFF that I have and that we have as society. How much of that STUFF is necessary? How much of that STUFF do we need? How much of that STUFF takes time away from us? And the list goes on.

I fear we (myself included) have ruine ourselves with stuff! Don't get me wrong, stuff is cool, I like my stuff and I'm sure you like yours as well. However, the problem is when we spend way to much time, effort, and energy on our STUFF. When we "don't have time to read our bible" because we are playing video games, playing on ipads/iphones, working to get that big house or fast car when we already have sufficient ones that are really nice, etc...there in lies our problem.

Just a thought, how many people have you walked by on the street or in the mall or just anywhere and haven't even given them a smile and a "how are you?" because you were buried in your phone txting somebody? May not seem like alot but thats the thing....it isn't! If we can't do something as simple as that how do we give those things up for the bigger issues? How am I going to skip out on working late to go to church when I already can't pay the bills on my BMW(metaphorically speaking of course) if I can't essentially smile and wave to brighten somebody's day?! Or better yet, how will I give up cell phone service, facebook, and other modern day eminities to serve the Lord? If we knew we were called to a missions, no matter what kind, would we be able to go a week without those things?...a month?...a year?...how about the rest of your life to serve God?

Remember the finger is right back in my face here too, but it was just a thought I had today. Specifically for me. Can I do without? Of course life doesn't depend on those things but I, at least, am so conditioned to having those things that it would be a struggle and that is a sad sad eye opening truth for me and many others.

God's reliablity to find

The last few days have been tough and great all at the same time. I hate to say that before about 3 days ago I had "fallen away from God." Things in my life were going great and since I wasn't in a place of constant need (or so I thought) I put Him on the back burner without a thought of what He wanted or needed from me.

Both fortunately (for my soul) and unfortunately (it was tough lol) though, God has a way of getting our attention and drawing us back unto Him. With the loud thoughts that weren't mine and with the wonderful time I had with him, especially yesterday.

Dew still on the grass, glistening from the early morning sun out just above the horizon over the river, I went and had some serious Jesus time yesterday. Bible reading and devotional out in the beauty of God's creation with complete serenity (minus the lawn mower briefely lol) it was the best way I have ever started a day, and it showed through the rest of my day.

Nothing seemed to bother me the rest of the day and I had such an air of serenity all day. Last night I had the urge to read Isaiah because I had seen a few verses from there in my devotion time earlier (and to get the next part you must understand that I am not a big reader and I probably have never read more than 3 or 4 chapter of the bible in a day before) and I ended up reading 21 chapters! Thats almost a third of the book! And it was just in about 2hrs at most! It was a pretty awesome thing!

I would like to just share some of the verses that really got me yesterday and today

Psalm 40:8 I desire to do your will, O my God, your law is within my heart

Isaiah 6:8 And i heard the voice of the Lord saying "whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Then I said, "here am I! Send Me!"

Isaiah 7:9b If you are not firm in faith you will not be firm at all

Isaiah 12:1-2 You will say in that day; "I will give thanks to you, O Lord, for though you were angry with me, your anger turne away, that you might comfort me. Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be agraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation"

Isaiah 65:1 “I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me; I was found by those who did not seek me. To a nationi that did not call on my name, I said, ‘Here am I, here am I.’


Psalm 113:3 From the rising of the sunr to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised.

Romans 12:1-2 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies bas a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Isaiah 61:1 The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, Because the Lord has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to those who are bound

Our question?

We all come to a point, through our different experiences and worldviews, in which one of the worlds greatest questions comes up. That question puts us in the spotlight on the chopping block. The question isn't to be or not to be, it is not what can you do for your country, but rather 1what am I doing with my life? What difference have I made?

I found myself in this state of questioning myself just rescently with graduation right around the corner and just through the grinding of life that goes days by day, meeting to meeting, busy task to busy task.
 
In our world today we are all so narcasitic that we think our petty jobs and places in this world are the most important and that we couldn't possibley fit anything else into our lives because we are so busy. It is almost as if we think the world will stop when we stop. I do this too, the finger is right back in my face and to and extent its not entirely untrue, we each have a plac in the world and a job to do.

The bigger issue, for me at least, is I want make a real difference. My career path of teaching and coaching is set upon that and obviously not the money, but I have found myself rescently wondering is that enough? can the biggest difference be made by me in the world by me just teaching and yelling at a boy with a pig skin in his hand?

I have always believed that my ministry would be in this area of students and sports, but I have also felt the call to do more. Numerous times have a felt the soft knock then the loud bang on the door of my heart to do more. Weather it was not part of my plan or because I am afraid of missinterpretting the message, I have fled from the thought of such higher calling.

True enough, there aren't enough hands ready, able, and willing to be used by God these days, so much so that I firmly believe it far exceeds the 20-80 rule of 20% fo the people do 80% of the work to the point that I feel it may be more like 1-99 or worse. And yet, God still finds a way for that small percent to get the job done and bring him glory.

I have a strong suspicion that a large selection of others are in a similar case as I, in which they don't want to answer the call or are taking their sweet time answering it. So, to imagine how much more God could do with the others, even if it were doubled to a still measley 2%! Oh how amazing that would be.
 
So I guess the question for you and me then, is are we going to allow ourselves to be the hands and feet and share the Gospel? Will we do the dirty work in the dirty places that others turn their nose up at? Will we take it upon ourselves to be obedient to Christ and follow where he leads when he says? or will we waste time doing what we feel we can't leave without finishing instead of "letting the dead burry the dead"?

I suspect the real reason to not just be simply not caring but rather a lack of confidence in ourselves to get the job done. Missions would require us to put our faith to the test. The rubber would meet the road and we would be tested in ways that make us uncomfortable and we are afraid to fail! It is because we think we have to have it all figured out for God to use us.

God is still completing a good work in us! He is continually changing us for the better! Constantly molding us into his image that we can reflect to a dark and lost world! The challenge to you and I is to find where the meat and substance to our life and our goals are, and then to determine what role we should play. Are we to continue sitting int he saftey of our sunday rutine and untested faith? or are we to go out on faith under fire and love others and through that love, which comes from Christ, meet their needs?!

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit-Matthew 28:19